I'm a Doubting Thomas

My wife blogged about this song the other day, but I can't help but mention it myself! I first heard this song when cHOOSe performed it two years ago, but I had no idea that Nickel Creek wrote it, and that the original was soo incredible! I've been trying to get the guitar down ever since I got back from Germany and I think I finally have it, albeit a bit slower than the recording. Anyways, I've been playing Doubting Thomas by Nickel Creek, repeatedly, for 4 days. OK, maybe not 24 hours a day, but I wouldn't doubt if it is in my top-10 of all time on my iPOD now :)

I think I love the song so much because it addresses the conflict within my own heart. Trust. Which has a powerful neighbor known as Faith. Who kind of has a stick-in-the-mud neighbor who goes by OBEDIENCE. I want physical sustenance and security to ensure my plans won't be thwarted. Before I get a little risky, I want to know, and I mean KNOW, that there is some type of pre-nup or plan B that can serve as my emergency eject button to salvage some value. In science, we like to know the result and have the data before we even do the experiment (aka, grant writing). But I think we both know that when Abraham was walking up that mountain with Isaac, they were alone. Moses went to Pharoah with nothing but his bumbling-tongue. Such faith is easy to stare at and watch, maybe even stir our own hearts, but hard to shoulder.
The chorus is on FIRE. I took a promise, I get to be friends with my maker, and Christ saved me so that I can have as much or as little relationship with God as I want. Yet my actions show my desires to be south of heaven. I choose to play games with 'what-ifs' rather than give Him my heart and hands. The song goes on to ask for forgiveness for wasted timed mulling around. I hate to think I've wasted what little time God has granted me. All this being said, check out the song. The video is random, but the song is...

"I'm a doubting thomas,
I took a promise,
But I do not feel safe,
Oh me of little faith..."

The BEST band in the WORLD

Hillsong United. They are music to my ears, seriously. Just say Hillsong and I can't help but bust out into song...and hence the music to your ears. I don't think I'm the only with this opinion either.

I had no idea when their next album was coming out until yesterday, I found their advertisements on my blogging routine. NEXT WEDNESDAY they are releasing their new live album. Now some people might shy away from such shenanigans- live music, really? This would be the biggest mistake of your life! I've seen them live and that's how this whole love affair began....when they plain blew my socks off. It wasn't a concert, it was a worship-fest. I think it was probably the most powerful experience I've had in worship. I know worship isn't about me- EXACTLY! You might think I'm exaggerating with all the exclamation points and talking about how they have, in part, changed my life- so watch and see for yourself!

Apparently they are not only music geniuses, but advertising geniuses. It seems they've released several videos to stragetic people (who happen to blog) to post/advertise throughout the week and spread the word. At the end of each post, they suggest the blog for the next release on the next day.

It started here and here.
Today it moved here (and posted below).
I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds....which just might be the point of all of this....

Hillsong "Hold Me Now" from Ben Arment on Vimeo.

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Now playing: Desperation Band - Amazed
via FoxyTunes

Life

"You see, death, it's unavoidable, but that's not the tragedy. The tragedy is that life can be avoidable too. And while you will not miss your appointment with death, you might actually miss your appointment with life- if you never stop and have this life-changing conversation with Jesus. Where you simply turn to him and say, "I believe and I know that YOU are the source of life, and I need you."

-Erwin

Hmmm

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us... Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God. For this reason the gravest question before the Church is always God Himself, and the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at a given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like."

"Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."


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Now playing: Fellowship Church - New Creation
via FoxyTunes

Is there a line?

Before I met Jordan my budgeting skills simply consisted of checking my online bank account to make sure the correct amount was deducted. Since we've been married (and even while we dated- yeah she wasn't a cheap date, but that was because I wanted to take her to all the nice places :), WOW. We have a record of everything we've purchased in an excel sheet. I went from apathetic to compulsive and now I can clearly see Jordan's effect on me as I get upset if I can't make all the numbers balance at the end of the month. I once heard that to know where someone's priorities lie, just look at their checkbook. It has been really fun to watch where our money goes, see who spends more on what, and consider where we should be spending more.

Of course, tithing is important. Virtually since the beginning of time, Christians have been tithing 10% to God through the local church. So, Jordan and I have always had that as a top priority. We both feel like generosity is an important part of the Christian life and that it truly is a blessing for us to be able to share what God has gifted us.

**Insert Brian Regan clip** Long story short, or one thing led to another... we've heard it is smart to start saving for retirement early. I read through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace a couple years back where he outlined two investments, one followed someone who saved from 25-45 and another who saved from 35-retirement(65) and the second investment never caught-up with the first (I might be off with the time scale, but you get the idea). So now that we are debt-free and saving money, we've decided to start a small retirement fund. I don't know if it was just the grind of life and unexpected expenses, or the retirement talk, but about two weeks ago, I got selfish. Or at least I think that's what it was. I began asking myself, where is the line? Have you ever asked that question? I feel like it isn't that uncommon. There are definitely situations where that is a valid question, but more often than not- I use it to get out of something. It's a lukewarm excuse that gives you just enough support to make a decision that you couldn't (or shouldn't) come to otherwise. Looking at our budget, there seemed to be an awful lot of money going to support churches and various other missions, but what is absolutely necessary? How much money do I have to give (outside of tithing) to be 'generous'?

Then this week, God decided enough of these shenanigans. Out of nowhere and entirely unexpected, He supplied extra. Not just a little extra, but a surplus. I know the definition of a lot of money differs, but if the Fed doesn't make a single bill in that amount (that I know of), it is a lot of money to me. It may be silly, but right in the midst of me worrying about how much to give, I felt like God sent me a reminder not to begin storing up treasure. Perhaps His way of saying, "Ya know, Joseph, why are you so caught up about how much money is in the one category that directly glorifies me and not yourself? Ya see, I can give you as much (or as little) as I want!" It might've even been a challenge to give more. I haven't quite discerned what it all means, but I thank God for getting to me before I developed a habit of half-hearted giving/sacrifice. I do think generosity is a heart matter more than material means and that God loves a joyful giver.

And on a completely separate note, since youtube didn't have the Brian Regan clip I wanted, this is another one of his bits that Jordan and I LOVE quoting to each other. His delivery is spot-on and we love it! Perhaps this is what Jordan was thinking when I started questioning our budget after sticking to it for a year!!






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Now playing: Shane Barnard & Shane Everett - There Is Nothing Like You
via FoxyTunes

Jesus is MY Friend

I don't know if you know this, but iTunes selects several songs to give away for FREE every week. Sometimes they are good, and sometimes they make me want to rip my ears off. My habit is to check the free stuff, and then see what's new in the Christian/Gospel section. That's when I found Sonseed. They are incredible, I hate that I didn't live while they were around (or are they still?). Only when I found their video on iTunes did I realize that someone else had posted a video of this group a while back, and it blew my mind so bad- I forgot about it! Anyways, enjoy it- my goodness, have things changed....





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Now playing: Hillsong United - More Than Anything
via FoxyTunes

Not what I thought

I felt convicted about something very specific last week. On the sixth floor of Jordan Hall whilest sitting on the pot not doing much of anything, it hit me.

For a while now, myself and several other people I know have utilized 'sunday school' in a negative way. You know, like, "don't give me that Sunday School answer, Carol," or "Give me a real answer, not the sunday school answer," and I don't think it is at all appropriate. One, it doesn't make sense one bit. Two, it perpetuates this idea that Sunday School doesn't offer truth/reality. And Three, it communicates the notion that there are facets of the Christian life or lifestyle that aren't worth retaining. I don't think I'm going to use 'sunday school' like that anymore (well, at least I'm going to fight it).

It all originated as I was thinking about blogging and how I got caught up reading blogs and following people that I thought were 'cool' or 'hip.' I've always shared blogs with people around me, but it got to the point where I only told people about the 'good stuff.' Carlos would write something sweet and inspire me and then I'd naturally want to share it with others. Looking back, it was a logical progression, if something moved me, I'd appreciate it and maybe share it- but if it didn't, I'd just let it slide in one ear and force it out the other. Yes, I know I'm weird. Yes, that is incredibly silly, but it brought all the walls down for me...



Example One: I've always told Jordan that Michael W. Smith was soooo Sunday Schooly that I couldn't stand to listen to his music. And of course, she'd respond with something like, "what does sunday schooly sound like exactly?" Oh, that wily minx (Friends reference). I wanted something not so 90s. I wanted the new millenium, ya know? Give me some Crowder or Hillsong. I was so intent on making the Gospel cool that I was rejecting it. WHAT THE HECK? Who am I to determine what works, what doesn't? What sells and what doesn't? What changes lives and what doesn't? I was making it all about me, me, me and not Him, Him, Him.

Example Two: Example one has a profound impact on my life. Worship music moves me to places I don't know. Music is one of the more effective ways I think I encouter God. It is definitely how I worship (and hope God enjoys)! That being said, music shapes the worship experience for me. So as you might imagine, 'sunday school' thoughts fairly frequently cross my mind during and about CHURCH. I think (or know) the devil gets the best of me quite frequently. Do we have to be told what to say? This hymn, AGAIN? Why shouldn't I invited someone to church just because I don't think they'll want to come or I don't think they will like the music. Just because the Holy Spirit doesn't speak to me with a certain type of music or place does not mean I shouldn't invite others to meet Him there. Should I make it harder for others to commune with their creator? Or even ignore God's voice to invite someone?

I hope Christ continues to show me my place. I think I can say I put myself higher than I should more often than not but I'm learning. I wish I wasn't as slow as I am, but I'm getting there....

Eternal thirst

Even a week removed, I still can't help but re-think various moments from last weekends D-Now. Jordan has already mentioned some amazing moments she had as one of the middle school girls chaperones, but I thought I'd get in on it too. It was all over the place.

Sunday morning was completely different than the rest of the weekend. It wasn't a bad thing, but it was different. Instead Darryl or Drew preaching, it was the grown-up pastor. Instead of one of the guys I've known for years, it was a pastor I hardly knew. In the midst of a sermon about the state of a church that I'm not a part of, Pastor John said something that God wanted me to hear.

Maybe everyone else in the church world knew about Mother Theresa's conversion experience, but I didn't. This portion of his homily jumped out to be because of this here blog. Mother Theresa's conversion happened when God spoke to her and revealed His thirst for her life. Her lifestyle and spirituality revolved around this "I thirst" concept and it is now inscribed on every chapel cross of the Missionaries of Charity. Because she said it better than I can, and maybe even better than I understand, here's a glimpse of how God called her and is probably calling our names as well.

I Thirst for You
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock …” (Rev. 3:20)

It is true. I stand at the door of your heart, day and night. Even when you are not listening, even when you doubt it could be Me, I am there. I await even the smallest sign of your response, even the least whispered invitation that will allow Me to enter.

And I want you to know that whenever you invite Me, I do come - always, without fail. Silent and unseen I come, but with infinite power and love, and bringing the many gifts of My Spirit. I come with My mercy, with My desire to forgive and heal you, and with a love for you beyond your comprehension - a love every bit as great as the love I have received from the Father ("As much as the Father has loved me, I have loved you..” [Jn. 15:10]). I come - longing to console you and give you strength, to lift you up and bind all your wounds. I bring you My light, to dispel your darkness and all your doubts. I come with My power, that I might carry you and all of your burdens; with My grace, to touch your heart and transform your life: and My peace I give to still your soul.

I know you through and through - I know everything about you. The very hairs of your head I have numbered. Nothing in your life is unimportant to Me. I have followed you through the years, and l have always loved you - even in your wanderings. I know every one of your problems. I know your needs and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that I love you - not for what you have or haven't done - I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity My Father gave you by creating you in His own image. It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My Blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all that needs changing in your life; and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power.

I know what is in your heart - I know your loneliness and all your hurts - the rejections, the judgments, the humiliations. I carried it all before you. And I carried it all for you, so you might share My strength and victory. I know especially your need for love - how you are thirsting to be loved and cherished. But how often have you thirsted in vain, by seeking that love selfishly, striving to fill the emptiness inside you with passing pleasure - with the even greater emptiness of sin. Do you thirst for love? “Come to Me all you who thirst. . .” (Jn. 7:37). I will satisfy you and fill you. Do you thirst to be cherished? I cherish you more than you can imagine - to the point of dying on a cross for you.

I thirst for you. Yes, that is the only way to even begin to describe My love for you: I THIRST FOR YOU. I thirst to love you and to be loved by you - that is how precious you are to Me. I THIRST FOR YOU. Come to Me, and I will fill your heart and heal your wounds. I will make you a new creation, and give you peace, even in all your trials. I THIRST FOR YOU. You must never doubt My mercy, My acceptance of you, My desire to forgive, My longing to bless you and live My life in you. I THIRST FOR YOU. If you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For Me, there is no one any more important in the entire world than you. I THIRST FOR YOU. Open tome, come to Me, thirst for Me, give Me your life - and I will prove to you how important you are to My Heart.

Don't you realize that My Father already has a perfect plan to transform your life, beginning from this moment? Trust in Me. Ask Me every day to enter and take charge of your life - and I will. I promise you before My Father in heaven that I will work miracles in your life. Why would I do this? Because I THIRST FOR YOU. All I ask is that you entrust yourself to Me completely. I will do all the rest.

Even now I behold the place My Father has prepared for you in My Kingdom. Remember that you are a pilgrim in this life, on a journey home. Sin can never satisfy you, or bring the peace you seek. All that you have sought outside of Me has only left you more empty, so do not cling to the things of this life. Above all, do not run from Me when you fall. Come to Me without delay. When you give Me your sins, you give Me the joy of being your Saviour. There is nothing I cannot forgive and heal: so come now, and unburden your soul.

No matter how far you may wander, no matter how often you forget Me, no matter how many crosses you may bear in this life; there is one thing I want you to always remember, one thing that will never change: I THIRST FOR YOU -just as you are. You don't need to change to believe in My love, for it will be your belief in My love that will change you. You forget Me, and yet I am seeking you every moment of the day - standing at the door of your heart, and knocking. Do you find this hard to believe? Then look at the cross, look at My Heart that was pierced for you. Have you not understood My cross? Then listen again to the words I spoke there - for they tell you clearly why I endured all this for you: “I THIRST...” (Jn. 19:28).Yes, I thirst for you- as the rest of the psalm-verse I was praying says of Me: “I looked for love, and I found none...” (Ps. 69:20). All your life I have been looking for your love - I have never stopped seeking to love you and be loved by you. You have tried many other things in your search for happiness; why not try opening your heart to Me, right now, more than you ever have before.

Whenever you do open the door of your heart, whenever you come close enough, you will hear Me say to you again and again, not in mere human words but in spirit: “No matter what you have done, I love you for your own sake. Come to Me with your misery and your sins, with your troubles and needs, and with all your longing to be loved. I stand at the door of your heart and knock ... Open to-Me, for I THIRST FOR YOU…”
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“Jesus is God, therefore His love, His Thirst, is infinite.
He the Creator of the universe, asked for the love of His creatures.
He thirsts for our love…
These words: “I thirst” - do they echo in our souls?”
- MOTHER TERESA -

Sad story, great song

Usually I think drama and dance during worship is pretty lame. I know, that sounds HORRIBLE, but it is usually done really poorly. I thought GCC did awesome with this video though! I think they did an incredible job and communicate effectively. The issue discussed is for other posts...

Hurt from Granger Community on Vimeo.

D-Now, 2009 Edition

It's thursday, THURSDAY. You know what that means? It means tomorrow is FRIDAY! Ya know, the day the weekend begins?! I don't suspect this weekend will be like just any other weekend though. No, it probably won't. For the past two years I've been traveling to Gainesville UMC in mid-spring/summer to help Drew orchestrate a weekend of Godly shenanigans for his kids.

This year, the kiddies from UBC will be joining the youth at GUMC to spend a weekend in fellowship, service, and worship. I always finish these weekends feeling alive and refreshed, and I pray everyone that is coming this year feels the same new life I've felt in the past. I know God has something new to say to me, and I can't wait to hear what it is. Sometimes I think God suprises me and says things in the most unlikely of places, but other times, when I'm expecting and looking for Him, he speaks. I love how faithful He is. Things are going to be a little different this year. It is going to be a smaller group and not a full band. I think I'm going to enjoy this arrangement better though, it'll be much more intimate and communal. My wife will also be there to help lead the girls. I get to lead the middle school boys this year. I had them last year too. Oh yay. It's always fun trying to keep everyone focused on conversation about Jesus in the midst of competitive, hormonal middle-schoolers who are just learning that women can be desired and are just beyond their grasp.

Aight, it will be awesome, but for now...I gotta go watch MEN vs. Wild, with Will Ferrell...UH-OH!!!


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Now playing: Misty Edwards - Favorite One
via FoxyTunes

As I was writing this very title, I made a decision....

So, considering most weekends are filled with long naps, long runs, and extended stays at work, I just decided that my posts on Sundays will be videos. OK, I know I put a video up yesterday, but that was too perfect to pass up and I JUST made this decision.



Today, I want to share this video that I came across (probably through another blog) a year or two ago. Kim Walker is covering Mr. John Mark MacMillan but performs it really well. Actually, I like John Mark below her if you are interested and want to hear his story behind the song. It is an INCREDIBLE, heart-moving song, and I have trouble not getting emotional when listening to it. I know, me?? YOUR creator and MY designer loves us so much that He turns green with jealousy because how he loves us so. He has the power to move mountains and change lives, but he anxiously waits for us to turn to him, even as we choose this world over him.

Anyways, great song, talented artists!
Just FYI- my favorite lyrics of the song are in the second verse, they rock my world almost every time I hear the song.

"So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way… HE LOVES US!"

raisin cakes, really?

This morning during my quiet time God made me laugh. Well, technically, his prophet Hosea made me laugh. Either way, it is kind of a rare occasion that I actually laugh outt loud during my quiet time, or any time I read the Bible for that matter. I guess generally I don't think about the Bible as a laughing matter (I've really never thought about that before, should it ever be?). I was reading my Bible on YouVersion, and luckily had it on the NIV translation otherwise I would've missed this surprise. P.S. I love YouVersion.

Hosea 3:1- 'The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”'

Everyone has their thorn, I just never thought raisin cakes would do it.... But seriously, apparently these delightful danishes were devoured during worship to Baal and the Israelites had chosen to worship Baal with prostitutes and food, rather than worship the ONE, TRUE God with their lives.

The fact that Hosea describes them as raisin cakes in the NIV translation only demonstrates that our idols can show up anywhere and be anything- especially now that raisin cakes are obsolete. From food and TV to work and money, I don't even know where to begin evaluating everything that I worship. I like to think that I talk to God more than I think about what's for dinner or what's the best way to save money, but I really don't know somedays. At the end of the day I guess I can only pray that God would mold my heart to yearn for things of Him and to change my desires to His desires. And hopefully He will slowly reveal to me that nothing tastes sweeter or feels better than the bread of heaven.